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Vol. 267, November 11, 2005

THE KAIST TIMES http://kaisttimes.com

Candice's Gentle International Manners

By Hey-young Kim (Materials Science 1994)
[Translated by Harrison Lee]
Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology
373 Guseong-dong, Yuseong-gu
Daejeon 305-711, Republic of Korea

When we go abroad, the main reason why we are afraid of going to western restaurants might be because that we can't get used to Western table manners, rather than we don't know the menu or its tastes aren't right to us. We can't be perfect from the beginning, but we can minimize errors through understanding those manners and practices.

When to Call a Waiter

When people call a waiter in the west, they never call in a voice. A waiter comes to customers when he just raises a finger, or looks at a waiter. The key reason we can have dinner elegantly is that we don't need to make a sound or raise a hand when we call a waiter during dinner.

Napkin

Koreans usually use a paper napkin. Therefore, when I went to foreign restaurant, I customarily asked for a paper napkin. But then a friend recommended a cloth napkin saying, "Candice, you can use YOUR napkin." But I couldn't get used to using a cloth napkin, since I really didn't want to make so clean and white a cloth dirty. But, you don't have to keep a cloth napkin clean at all. You can wipe dirt on your mouth freely. The best timing for unfolding a napkin is right before the first menu comes. When you unfold the napkin, you have to unfold it silently on your knees without shaking it off. Also it is recommended to fold it in half and put folded side toward you, not unfold it completely. If you do like this, you can cover dirty side. It is good
manners to put the napkin roughly on the table after dinner, as the sign of thanks for the meal.

Wine Tasting

As wine helps to decrease a fatty (greasy) taste of food, it has recently become an essential item on the menu when you have western food. Red wine goes well with meat, white wines goes well with fish. The way of receiving a wine glass is just putting it on the table without holding it with hands. At first, the waiter just gives a small amount of wine for wine tasting. Wine tasting is for checking whether the wine is the one I ordered, and also the storage condition. The wine could be damaged by storage, and sometimes the same wines can taste different depending on how they are stored. I recommend that a man ask a lady to taste the wine first. Ladies will be astonished by such gentle manners. Also there is way enhancing the wine taste. You wash the wine gently around in the glass until the flavor is full, and then sips it gently and pleasantly into the throat. Wine is the thing satisfying our 3 main senses - the color by eyes, the flavor by nose and taste by tongue. When you hold a wine glass, you have to hold the stem instead of the round part in order to prevent the wine temperature from being changed by hand's heat.

Bottoms-Up Not Recommendable

But gripping a round part of wine cup is not out of manner that much. Some embarrassing things could happen at table, because those unexpected things are a human's physical reaction. Then, what is the most unpardonable thing among coughing, blowing nose, farting and burping? The answer is burping. Burping is a sign of having eaten well in Korea, but it is unpardonable manners in the west. Because western people think that burping can be endured by training or will (by minimize the noise). On the other hand, western people blow their noses in public. We can often hear them doing this. Of course, when you do it, you should blow only a little and wipe the runny nose quietly. But if it is serious, you should blow your nose in the restroom.

Paying and Tip

Usually you pay a bill to a waiter at the table unless waiter says, "Pay the cashier." Although it looks strange to Koreans, it is natural abroad. When a waiter brings a bill, you stick cash credit card in the bill and give it to the waiter. And leaving the restaurant with the tip left on the table is generally accepted. As to the origin of the tip, "Pay enough to insure promptness and greatness" was written on the wall of a certain restaurant in the 18th century. These words were changed to, "To insure Promptness" later, which then got shortened to TIP. Namely, a tip means reward for prompt service. Usually you pay a tip of around 10% of a lunch charge, 15% of a dinner charge. When you are satisfied with their service or business went well, you can pay 20-30% of dinner charge.

What If You Don't Have Small Change?

When you pay on credit, you can find a column for tip under total amount on the bottom of bill. You just write an amount of tip and plus the total amount and pay it on credit. I was surprised by that even a good many Koreans living in US don't know this fact. Sometimes, when you find some Americans leaving a restaurant without paying tip, you have to understand that they paid already. Not paying a tip in unthinkable in the US. You can also pay tip on credit card.

Coat

Taking a coat and putting it on need practice. People tend to be good at taking lady's coat. But, when a man put clothes on after dinner, we can tell easily whether this man is accustomed to doing it or not. Fortunately, I have never thought about this point at all when I've had dinner with American gentlemen. I have never been uncomfortable because most of them are accustomed to putting on their coats. However, Korea is different. I have found that Korean men often need practice even at putting on a coat for a lady after dinner.

Here is the key point: A man can show that he respects a lady by helping her on and off with her coat. The woman is then happy because she feels respected.

If a third person or waiter/waitress happens to see the scene, they will often be struck with admiration and say, "Ah!" It means a compliment to man's splendid manners rather than a envy for the lady. It shows that good manners enable a person to shine. For making tempers fresh and good, nothing beats good manners.

[Art by Kyung-han Jang.]

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